Originals | The Piltdown Review

Originals

Untitled

Untitled

Every time I see a bird, I apologize. There but for the grace of . . . well, not God, certainly.
Swiss Kriss for President

Swiss Kriss for President

An unpaid pitchman, I even sent Kriss to Eisenhower. “Do it the Satchmo way and you’ll feel 10 years old.”
Swiss Kriss Diet

Swiss Kriss Diet

I’m a high-strutting yo-yo diet, the gut and down every year or so. But people fixate on my weight, like I got cancer. No, I got Swiss Kriss.
St. James Infirmary

St. James Infirmary

Two Freds, one the composer the other the tromboner. Got to have both or this hit would need a church organ donor.
The First Few A’s in St. James Infirmary

The First Few A’s in St. James Infirmary

That song’s first “A” didn’t show up, must’ve been sick. That “A” didn’t show up, could’ve been sick. Or maybe missed the call ’bout the gig between my lips.
What a Wonderful World

What a Wonderful World

The melody sounded like twinkle twinkle’s great uncle oompah loompah: “I see trees of green . . .” Label wasn’t seeing the same green cause they only offered me 5 c-notes.
Film Studies

Film Studies

I am pushing this bicycle twined with ribbons & flags & enormous bells through the elaborate marble lobby to the bar.
Funeral Practices of the Flooded Valley

Funeral Practices of the Flooded Valley

The long double row of skulls adorning the curved wooden bulkhead walls reminds us that in the midst of death we are in life.
What an embarrassment, what kind of grace

What an embarrassment, what kind of grace

Thanking the tall maple over on Sea Street, it was or it wasn’t me hearing waves crash in the high branches.
Donald Trump’s Toe Tag

Donald Trump’s Toe Tag

Donald Trump's toe tag will be the most glorious toe tag. It will have class like you've never seen before.